A Year of Chasing Love Read online

  Would she and Nathan descend into the quagmire of such pettiness?

  Her emotions crashed again. It was the new year, a time for looking forward and making resolutions, and she was getting divorced! All the sadness, the verbal spats, the possessiveness, the obstructiveness and the squabbling that she dealt with on a daily basis would be lurking for her own indulgence as the dissolution of her marriage travelled through the divorce court.

  Then an added horror poked its nose above the parapet. Was Nathan involved with someone else? She shoved that pernicious thought deep into the crevices of her mind. If Nathan was anything at all, he was an honest and straightforward guy, favouring the communication of difficult issues in a balanced, non-confrontational way, but he had been pushing against an immoveable concrete barrier the previous year when wanting to talk seriously about their future. Whenever they were at home together in their pristine apartment overlooking the River Thames, she was usually so exhausted that any conversation beyond what was for dinner was too taxing to contemplate. No, she knew Nathan would not be dating anyone else.

  There would be no vitriol or salacious accusations for the Fitzgeralds. Whilst she was mortified at the way the divorce papers had been delivered, and revolted at his choice of legal representative, after the initial shock and disbelief had dissipated, she had to admit the commencement of the divorce process had not come as a surprise. If there was ever a good time to end a marriage, then this was it: a new year, a fresh start, and whilst Nathan was away in Singapore – leaving her alone in London to sort out their apartment without the added awkwardness of living together under the same roof.

  A mantle of loneliness draped its folds around her body and settled heavily across her shoulders. The delivery of that simple brown envelope meant her destiny was now shrouded in a veil of ambiguity.

  ‘You’re due loads of leave, Liv. Why don’t you take a trip to see your parents in Yorkshire?’

  ‘I can’t go to Yorkshire, Kat.’

  Olivia pushed herself out of the depths of the sofa, straightened her charcoal-grey pencil skirt and strode over to her desk. She shoved the offending documents into her bottom drawer and turned to look out of the window. From the twelfth floor, the view over the angular rooftops of the City of London was awe-inspiring but one which she seldom noticed, much less appreciated. A shaft of early January sunshine had the audacity to bathe the room with its wintry light, and she managed a brittle smile at the irony – surely there should be a cacophonous thunderstorm raging and rain lashing against the windowpanes?

  Except this wasn’t a nightmare, or a horror film; it was reality and she had to deal with it.

  ‘I suppose I’d better inform Henry of my impending singlehood.’

  Chapter 2

  ‘I’m extremely saddened to hear your news, Olivia. Nathan is not only an intelligent and competent corporate lawyer but a decent, considerate man. Jean and I were delighted when we heard he was being promoted to Lead Counsel at Delmatrix Pharmaceuticals at their Singapore office. You youngsters today have so many opportunities.’

  Olivia squirmed a little under the steely pewter gaze of Henry Edwards, the senior partner of Edwards & Co, feeling dwarfed by the gravity of the situation she found herself in, and the wing-backed leather chair facing his gargantuan desk that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a Gentleman’s Club. However, after being his business partner for almost ten years, she knew whatever pearls of wisdom he was about to dispense, they would be judiciously selected and carefully delivered.

  ‘Olivia, it’s time I spoke frankly with you. Jean and I are worried about your health. It’s apparent to even the most casual of onlookers that you’re not sleeping well. And when did you last enjoy a decent meal – and I do not mean those psychedelic cocktails that you, Hollie and Matteo devour with such gusto? You need to take a break from the legal grindstone, especially after this life-changing event.’

  ‘Henry, I—’

  ‘No, please, just listen.’

  Henry ran his arthritic fingers through his thick, ash-coloured hair, for the first time displaying a hint of reticence, clearly somewhat uncomfortable with treading the line between showing concern for his younger partner’s obsessive work patterns and invading her privacy.

  ‘I know you’re not going to like me saying this, but I miss the spirited, rosy-cheeked woman of twenty-nine I met ten years ago; eager, ambitious, brimming with energy and enthusiasm for the law. It hurts me to see how much that young lawyer has transformed into the frazzled, exhausted, stressed-out person who sits before me now and I truly regret not noticing sooner.’

  ‘Henry, I’m not—’

  ‘Please, Olivia, hear me out. For the first time, Jean and I have made a few New Year’s resolutions and if all goes according to plan, this time next year we’ll be boarding a luxury liner for a round-the-world cruise. Life is short, and every day becomes more precious as the age of seventy is waiting in the wings to ambush us. Jean deserves the indulgence of her long-held dream, and to that end I’ve reserved a Princess Grill Stateroom on the Queen Elizabeth.’

  Olivia smiled. She was delighted that Jean had got her own way at last. She knew the division of labour in the Edwards marriage was considered old-fashioned; Jean, giving up her career as a midwife to devote her gentle-but-firm skills to steering their two beloved daughters through life’s challenges – both of whom had chosen to follow their mother’s footsteps into medicine – whilst Henry performed the role of breadwinner and doting father. She was about to congratulate him on his decision, but Henry had already launched into the next part of his submission.

  ‘I struggled to recall the precise nature of the clause in our partnership agreement pertaining to the taking of sabbaticals, so I took the liberty of checking. After ten years of service, all Edwards & Co partners, including you, Olivia my dear, qualify for a ten-month sabbatical at half their monthly drawings.’

  ‘I qualify? I thought it was you and Jean who were planning to take the world by storm?’

  The switch in focus caused a twist of anxiety to whip through Olivia’s veins and she dug her fingernails into her palms to prevent herself from reaching up to fiddle with an escaped tendril of hair to alleviate the unease that had settled in her gut. What was going on? She didn’t have to wait long to find out.

  ‘Take a break, Olivia. Spend some time away from the crazy, soul-destroying world of divorce and relationship breakdown, of clients squabbling over meaningless possessions, of financial skulduggery and underhand espionage. Do you know, I even heard the other day that a lawyer had plundered the depths of decency by removing the dustbin from a spouse’s back garden? I mean, what is the legal profession coming to? How you and Katrina remain sane is a constant worry to Lewis, James and I.’

  Henry expelled a sigh filled with incredulity, and not a little relief, that his chosen legal specialism was commercial property litigation and tax management and not the cut-and-thrust of verbal jousting prevalent in the field of matrimonial litigation. However, his words had sent Olivia’s thoughts reeling and it took her a few seconds to catch up, her throat dry when she spoke.

  ‘Henry, I really can’t take time off at the moment …’

  ‘I’m not saying you won’t be missed, or that we don’t appreciate how valuable your contribution is to our practice. You listen to your clients, Olivia, really listen. You empathise with their circumstances, and somehow you manage to instil in them the belief that their case is your only priority. Indeed, since you joined us, the Family Law department has flourished beyond anything we could have hoped to achieve. Clients, particularly women, have flocked to your office, but the fact that divorce has become so increasingly popular dismays me. Why don’t couples stay together nowadays? No, you don’t have to answer that!’

  Henry settled back into his captain’s chair, steepled his fingers and tapped them on his lower lip, eyeing Olivia carefully.

  ‘But I can also see that the pressure of an ever-expanding caseload has sapped
your energy and dulled that initial sparkle. And now, it seems, it has destroyed your marriage. Is it contagious, this incessant search for the elusive prize of contentment?’

  ‘I love what I do, Henry …’

  ‘Only too obvious, Olivia my dear, as I understand you already struggle to delegate even the most straightforward of cases to Miles, even though he is a very competent practitioner.’

  Olivia clenched her jaw in a futile attempt to prevent Henry from reading the doubt she knew was written boldly across her expression. She had never been first in line when they were handing out acting accolades – learning how to hide her emotions was still a work-in-progress, and it was one of the few essential skills required to be a first-rate lawyer that she had trouble mastering.

  ‘Oh, I know that you and Miles have conflicting views on how you conduct your cases, but I also know that he is eager to prove himself, to carve out his own niche in the department – the law had always possessed a vociferous appetite for the naïve but ambitious young lawyer seeking to make his mark – and I’m not entirely unsympathetic to his desire to change the firm’s approach to our matrimonial cases.’

  Like many lawyers, Olivia relished sharpening her advocacy and negotiation skills against her legal adversaries, but never to the detriment of her clients’ interests. It had always been her aim to assist her clients in a more holistic way, by offering accurate legal advice coupled with a dose of therapy, a cordial attitude to negotiations and a conciliatory approach. Of course, she was going to be better briefed than most on the up-to-date case law in her field because her long-time friend Rachel Denton, who had recently gained a Professorship in Family Law at UCL, made sure of that.

  ‘I can’t take a sabbatical, Henry, if that’s what you are suggesting. My clients rely on me to be here for them and I can’t let them down.’

  ‘They can easily transfer their matters to Miles, and I dare say that Lewis will do his bit.’

  Olivia’s mind immediately flicked to her fellow partner Lewis Jackson’s office, where the windowsill was piled high with carelessly discarded bottles of single malt whisky – gifts from grateful clients as tokens of appreciation for the personal injury compensation he had won on their behalf. Even James Carter, who handled their criminal defence work, had been known to receive a bottle or two of Cognac, although its provenance probably didn’t bear close scrutiny. On the other hand, Olivia’s office sported a plethora of flower-bedecked cards from clients whose shattered lives she had been a reluctant but necessary part of, and whom could not bring themselves to thank her for her involvement in such an interlude of pain.

  ‘Katrina will be a more than competent adviser, too. And what an opportune time to take a break having passed that dubious milestone that I saw reported in December’s issue of the Law Society Gazette.’

  Olivia gulped as her predicament rushed at her like a runaway express train and an involuntary shudder ran the length of her spine as she realised her own marriage would now be joining that running total of five hundred marriage dissolutions. And Henry was wrong – if ever there was a time to take a break from the treadmill of corporate life, this was most certainly not it! She needed the distraction.

  ‘But, Henry, I really can’t contemplate …’

  She heard him inhale a long breath, splaying his liver-spotted hands across his desk blotter, clearly preparing himself for what he had to deliver next and her heart crashed against her ribcage, causing spasms of trepidation to ricochet around her body.

  ‘It’s a timely solution, Olivia. This is a difficult subject for me to discuss, but the firm’s income has tumbled considerably over the last year or so. All this ruddy uncertainty has bitten us all hard. To be honest, a 50 per cent reduction in your drawings would ease the burden on our Office Account expenditure.’

  Olivia didn’t know what she had expected Henry to say, but it wasn’t that. Trepidation swiftly morphed into full-blown panic – if she’d thought her discussion with Henry about her divorce was going to be difficult, this conversation had climbed to a whole new level and she needed to fight her corner.

  ‘Henry, I realise the way I conduct my cases means there are fewer contested trials, and therefore there are not as many lucrative invoices at the end. But even so, the effects of a countrywide economic downturn can’t be laid at my office door!’

  ‘Of course not, and I wasn’t implying that, far from it. I’m actually very troubled by the breakdown of your marriage, Olivia, and the fact that your intensive work ethic may have in some way contributed to the sad state of affairs. No more ideal a couple have I come across than you and Nathan, and Jean agrees with me. You are so right for one another. If I’d been a betting man, I would have placed a month’s salary on you and Nathan being in the lucky half of the UK marriages that don’t end in divorce.’

  ‘Me neither, Henry, but it’s happened, and I have to deal with it.’

  A surge of sorrow spread through Olivia’s chest when she saw the genuine sadness reflected in Henry’s eyes, but she also saw a steely determination to deliver his next, much more personal bulletin of truth and she wondered what he would think if she jumped out of her seat and ran back to her office.

  ‘I’m sorry, Ms Hamilton, that cool, calm exterior doesn’t fool me. I know you’re devastated by this turn of events, and who wouldn’t be? You crouch in that chair like a starved waif, with sunken eyes and a blanched complexion, not a highly skilled, respected professional. The law is a demanding mistress; many a lawyer has become addicted to the daily buzz delivered by the joust of advocacy, sucked into the euphoria of winning cases, obsessed with that spurt of adrenaline delivered to their veins as they spar with the likes of Ralph Carlton. They’re addicted to arguing the toss with their equally eloquent opponents, then adjourning to the pub to drink themselves delirious in order to douse their rampant stress levels.’

  Olivia opened her mouth to argue, to tell Henry he was wrong, but, unusually, words failed her and she was relieved when the next part of his soliloquy was more softly delivered.

  ‘I can’t force you to invoke the sabbatical clause in our partnership agreement, but I fully intend to. I hereby give you notice that from the first of January next year, Jean and I will set sail from Southampton bound for Gibraltar; we will send regular postcards for the office noticeboard to remind everyone that there’s a great big world out there waiting to be explored! I truly hope that you’ll grasp this opportunity to take stock, Olivia, to answer some of life’s questions before you celebrate your fortieth birthday in December, so you must act now! If you agree to begin your sabbatical on the first of February, ten months—’

  ‘Ten months!’

  ‘Ten months would bring you back into the Edwards & Co fold on the first of December – two weeks before your milestone celebration – hopefully with a healthier, more balanced view of the world, with lessons learned and a readiness to move forward.’

  ‘No way, I can’t do it, Henry! What on earth will I do for ten months?’

  The mere thought of spending all that time either holed up in her empty flat, alone, untangling her life from Nathan’s whilst he was in Singapore, or meandering aimlessly between her parents in Yorkshire and Hollie’s parents down in Cornwall sent shivers of dread through her body. Tears smarted at her eyes, but she gritted her teeth because Henry was continuing to press his case.

  ‘Travel. Reconnect with those neglected friends. Write your autobiography. Take up ballroom dancing with Rachel. Make a start on that “bucket list” you and Katrina are always talking about. Just take some time out to refocus on you.’

  ‘Thanks, Henry, and here was I thinking I was indispensable!’

  Chapter 3

  Olivia sat at her desk, staring out of the window as the last rays of daylight filtered through the gathering clouds. The door to her office was closed; a rare phenomenon caused by Miles’s newly acquired pastime of prowling the corridors on the hunt for stray titbits of gossip as his usual sources of information – Kat
rina and Geraldine, his long-suffering PA – had remained tight-lipped over Olivia’s future plans.

  Over the last three weeks, she had felt Nathan’s absence from their apartment ever more acutely, despite the fact that even before he’d left for Singapore, they’d been the proverbial ships that pass in the night for months. Both Katrina and Geraldine had been sympathetic to her situation, but singleton Geraldine’s insight into the current dating scene had not been as helpful as she had imagined, and Miles’s contribution had been even less supportive – spending every day leading up to her impending departure smirking at the absurdity of her situation.

  The prolific divorce lawyer had become one of the statistics! Hilarious!

  The irony had not escaped her either, even in her pain-infused state, and she was desperate to unload a smidgeon of her distress into the ears of her oldest friend, and to receive her calm, level-headed advice and support.

  ‘But Rachel, seriously, I can’t just wallow around watching the Food Channel for the next ten months. Not only will I pile on the weight, but I’ll go stir crazy with boredom or self-analysis – and don’t you dare suggest I go on a world cruise like Henry did!’

  A friend of both hers and Nathan’s, Rachel Denton had been an integral part of their close-knit gang at Durham University. But, whilst she and Nathan had marched off to put the legal principles they’d learned into practice, Rachel had continued the academic life of research, publishing papers, writing articles for specialist journals, as well as inspiring the next influx of eager, fresh-faced students. Then, last summer, her professional dream had materialised in the guise of a professorship, and she was currently engrossed in a project analysing the causes of marital breakdown in the twenty-first century, a subject she was passionate about, apart from the Dean’s refusal to allow her the funds to engage the services of a research assistant.